What You WILL

What you WILL. What you want. What you desire, Lord. What does that mean? How ought my heart to translate the word “surrender?” Surrender means to completely, full-heartedly release and submit to other. It means to cut off self-opinion of how things should fit together, how things should work, what the process should be, what the pieces of the journey should look like.

Submission. I will lead…NO! You will lead; I will follow. I won’t try to sneak up beside Your right outstretched arm and steer the course a different way. I won’t try to tame Your ways that are too wonderful, for they are “too lofty for me to attain.” I won’t try to take the course of my life a different way; You are my anchor, my steadfast; I will obey. I won’t entertain the thoughts of how it could’ve been and what I did wrong or who I might’ve known or fallen in love with or what I could’ve attained had I gone a different way, followed a different prodding, glanced a different direction. I won’t allow what is to deflate who I am. I won’t welcome sinister mind-propelling reasonings to drain life from within me.

I’m actually going to give you my mind and ask you to insert wisdom and understanding into my head. I’d also like you to peer into my heart and to search through it. What’s in there that doesn’t look like the beauty that was part of your design? I know you’ve got a blueprint that is full of radiant color for the contents of my heart. I know that it is a beautiful blueprint because it is a reflection of the glory that rests within You and the light and life that penetrates through every vibe of Your being and existence.

I know that You are a designer, an imagineer, a lover, a perfector. I know you are a truth-breather and liberator. I know You are a glory to behold and a glory to imagine. I know that You are holy, holy, holy and I want to know what that’s all about. What is it all about? Is it about knees on the ground, heart on the ground, brain on the ground, body on the ground, pride on the ground, preferences on the ground?

Is it no longer about what’s on the ground but who’s above and worthy to be seen? Is it not so much less about me and so much more about You?! Isn’t it You on the throne, and You in the temple? Is it not You who cannot be contained? Is it not You who separated the seas and created the spaces in between? Is it not You who dreamed up the complexity of seasons and comings and goings and eternity, freedom, and love? Is it not You in the Holy Book and You in the desert and You in the spaces where we walk and talk and live and breathe? Is it not You who imparts presence throughout time and space? Is it not You who imagines and gives life to the creations in Your mind? Is it not You?

Lord, your will not mine,

Not my hope but thine.

You’re the author, maker, creator,

Designer, cultivator.

I have no need to hold on to what was,

Or to hold back from what can be because

I have pleased myself

Until the pleasing has made me sick in the stomach,

And the pleasure has

Tied knots in my spirit.

Pleasing to You now, Lord, is what I will,

A pleasing aroma to Your senses is my desire;

It is my desire to emit a physical, heart-centered, emotional, spirit-filled

Response to Your will, Your desire,

Your plan,

Your Heart.

“Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.”