In the Middle

Mid-twenties. You are a funny bunch of years.

I’ve always liked the middle.

When I was younger, living in a suburban neighborhood—

Positioned across from a small patch of rolling

Cornfields,

I fought for the middle in my trio of friends’’

Biking entourage.

I wanted to be second in the line-up,

With one neighborhood friend in front of my 5-speed,

And one neighborhood friend behind.

My mood turned foul if this didn’t happen just “so”…

I am the second middle child,

In a collection of four.

I’m third;

I’m in the middle.

I didn’t have to do things first,

But I still ended up paving “the way” somehow

With a rebellious streak yearning for boundary-pushes.

I often wanted to stand out—not for outlandish opinions

But for music taste, outfit choice, sarcastic jests.

I wasn’t the firstborn and I wasn’t the baby of the flock.

I had to make my mark somehow, huh?

I never liked being the one to rock the boat,

I straddled the middle,

Fought for the center,

Disdained the thought of being a killjoy

Or unpopular.

I wanted favor and to know I was appreciated.

I wanted to stand up for the leftovers

And looked-down-upons.

I didn’t want to be an extreme on any side of

The spectrum, ever.

Well, rarely, I suppose.

The middle.

It’s safe, but it’s dangerously so.

Reaching out toward one side or the other

Leaves a vulnerability—the fear of man

Begins to kick in,

And I grasp for air because this is the ultimate

Choke factor for me.

But Jesus never stayed in the middle,

And if He’s my role model, then what am I doing

Drifting to the center of the situation

Trying to hold fast to some middle ground?

He frequently entered into polarized discussions,

Opinions,

Made frighteningly strong appeals

That left no middle ground to be clung to.

I need a get-out-of-the-middle lesson.

There is one grande middle in which I

Struggle to remain.

And that is a sort of equilibrium,

An anchored peace and state of dwelling,

Where I struggle to exist in full.

This is one middle, that Jesus did promote,

That I struggle the most to embrace.

The anchored center,

“Come and take Your place, in the center of

Our hearts/Come and take Your place, Jesus.”

To find rest in the anchor for my soul,

I am often on a search and rescue mission.

This is “middle” that I have never gravitated towards

But that I deeply need.

I need my Dad’s perfect peace

And solid direction for my life.

I need His ultimate view on every issue and situation

I encounter.

I need to find rest in a balanced kingdom:

His kingdom’s floor plans.

I need to find my middle in Jesus.