All I Want to Do Is Go to the Bathroom (from the head of a teacher)

All I want to do is go to the bathroom.

Chapel just ended and I am flung

Between throngs of 9^th, 10^th, 11^th, and 12^th graders,

And I wind around the snack shop, past the soccer field,

Past the old tree,

And up the high school stairs to deposit

My trusty Bible, attendance sheet, and

Contigo travel mug before

Whisking into the bathroom

For a quick pee,

So that I’m not distracted by a full bladder

When my discipleship girls show up.

As I turn the corner to enter the second stall,

I see the glow of a screen lighting up a

10^th grader’s face as she quickly turns so

As not to be seen by her teacher.

All I want to do is go to the bathroom.

In a moment of tension,

I actually have to force myself to turn around

To approach her about the phone,

Confiscate it,

Walk back to my classroom to place it on my desk,

And then return on my mission to finish the task,

Because all I want to do is go to the bathroom,

But I am interrupted by my on-call duties as a teacher.