Our Summer Story

The Proposal

It was a Tuesday. I was on the back of the tandem bike while Sadrac was driving. He released the news that he’d had a good talk with my dad. Boo is often unable to contain his excitement or news, so he proceeded to tell me that he had asked my dad for permission to marry me. We pedaled onward. It was July 26^th.

On July 27^th, which was Matt’s 24^th birthday, we went out to the infamous Shady Maple Smorgasbord for a big breakfast [ http://www.shady-maple.com/smorgasbord]; we stopped by to see Mel & Nate’s twins; and then we got invited into a spontaneous talk with Mom and Dad in the family room. It felt like a “fake” spontaneity to me because my parents are typically very intentional with deep conversations.

They prompted Sadrac and me to join them in the family room to talk about how the past week had been. Mom and Dad perched themselves across the family room from us, as we sat on the couch. Then they got up and moved in closer, saying that they didn’t like feeling so far away. As we sat near, I felt enveloped, as in a warm hug, as some of those I love the most sat touching me on both sides. Dad began to ask reflective and evaluative questions about how the four previous days had been and how they had matched up with expectations…

…The night before I left PAP for the summer: And conversations about the future

The evening of June 6^th, Sadrac and I went out to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant in Port-au-Prince (PAP), Haiti—Aztec.  [ https://www.facebook.com/aztecayiti/ ] We aimed to make the most of my last night in PAP before I would fly out for two months to be with my family during summer break at the school where I teach.

As Sadrac bid adieu that night, we ended with sharing predictions for our future together. The question, “What is the soonest we would get married?” brought a series of responses. The first major hurdle was Sadrac meeting my parents in person—it was something that I wanted to have happen before we would move into an engagement level commitment with each other. So, with no guarantees on that timeline, but with hope and desire for ideal circumstances, Sadrac verbalized that the earliest we would be engaged would be this summer (after he would meet my parents). Marriage could come as soon as December 2016. We discussed staying in school housing (via my work at QCS) [http://www.quisqueyahaiti.org/] for the remainder of the school year; and then the possibility of Sadrac beginning to study business in the States as early as next school year (2017-2018).

This timeline was exciting. It delivered the kind of joy you get when you dream up something special—usually something that feels mostly controlled by fantasy and with no promise for fulfillment.

The Visa Mountain

Uncontrollable circumstances filled our brains. Tales of applying for a Visa to travel the U.S. that had left many in disappointment or discouragement bombarded my ears. It seemed there were 10 depressing testimonies for every positive one—if that many. The tower, called a U.S. Visitor’s Visa, seemed insurmountable. It was certain that only a miracle, a work of the Lord, would place a Visa in Sadrac’s hands.

After a frustrating application process online, 3 trips to Western Union to fulfill the money order for the application, Sadrac and I sat down to sign-up for an interview date. The date spun far into the summer—July 7^th!! It would not be until July 7^th that Sadrac would go for an interview. At that point, neither of us knew for sure how long Sadrac would have to wait to hear if he’d been approved or denied—which says nothing of the additional wait-time for receiving the Visa in-hand.

I would be in the States roughly from June 7^th-July 31^st (I hadn’t purchased my return flight yet because I was holding out hope that Sadrac might fly in).

3 Weeks of Silence (June 25-July 16)

I was living it up in Ephrata, PA with Bethany, Andrew, & Matt and our parents. FaceTime and iMessage kept Sadrac and I in touch, plus I had left letters and notes for him for each of the days I’d be gone over the summer. I was hoping these would keep us close even though water and land separated us.

Several weeks into the summer, I had what I have now coined, my “sensitive Friday.” I woke up in a funk. Half of what I was feeling was working through some things personally. The other half was feeling like God was trying to speak something tender to me. I wanted to receive it and put it into action. It felt like the Lord was saying, “Return to your First Love.” I’d been in the Book of Revelation the week before and read of the call to the church to do just this. Also, I discovered the song “Hidden” by United Pursuit this day. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqa8O1ktxk8]  

After listening to “Hidden” on repeat eight or nine times, I was a crying mess. My parents, who’d been out, arrived back home. I shared the song with them and had a conversation with my dad about what I was experiencing inside. He challenged me to take the invitation the Lord was extending—and “return to my First Love.” He suggested I take three to four weeks without speaking to Sadrac. (He had experienced a six-week separation from my mom leading up to their marriage.)

My initial response was anger. I had been separated by land and water and now I was being counseled to completely cut off my communication with my Baby. However, there was something deep inside that knew this was the right thing.

I knew my Father in Heaven was calling me to surrender. He was asking me to surrender this relationship I held so dear.

Sadrac is the first and only boyfriend I’ve ever had. I’d allowed myself to become close to him, to lower my defenses, to withdraw my walls. How could my loving Father in Heaven give me such a good gift and then take it away? The Lord seemed to be saying that I needed to surrender Sadrac. He wasn’t saying that He would take Sadrac away, but he wasn’t guaranteeing that Sadrac would be in my future. He was asking me to be willing to get to a place where I could truly say I was surrendered.

I chose to commit to a 3-week period because this was symbolic of a yearly Daniel Fast that I’ve done for the past several years.

God spoke to me a lot during this time of separation and helped me to develop a deeper trust in Him. I journaled daily.

Father-Son

My dad and Sadrac had already begun a series of phone conversations to get to know each other. My dad is an intentional and thoughtful man, so he had prayed through and planned out the direction and questions that would go along with each meeting. The comfort of knowing that my father was getting to know and approving my Boo was more beautiful than I could have imagined.

During the three weeks of silence, these two men got to know each other and in the words of my mom, Dad was “falling in love with Sadrac.”

Visa Approved!

On the morning of July 7^th, I was Skyping my good friend, Rachel Quinter, when I received a call from my father. “Sadrac got approved!” After making him repeat the news, I screamed!

My parents were at the Giant Store in Ephrata, PA when they got the news. According to my dad, they did a happy dance in one of the aisles near the pharmacy. My dad, being who he is, went up to the pharmacy counter later and explained why he was so excited.

We would later go into the same Giant Store in Ephrata, PA—the four of us: Dad, Mom, Sadrac, and me. This time Sadrac pushed Dad’s wheelchair up to the pharmacy counter to introduce Sadrac to the pharmacist who had seen the notorious happy dance. 

U.S.A.

Sadrac picked up his Visa 6 days after his interview at the Embassy. He flew to South Carolina three days later where he stayed with childhood friends.

The day he flew out of Haiti was the first day after our 3-weeks of silence had ended. Timing, huh?

A week after he arrived in PA where I kept telling myself it was absolutely unreal to expect that he would walk down the escalator in the Philadelphia International Airport to be received by three Messersmiths. Sure enough. He stepped off the escalator in a maroon V-neck, with a camouflage backpack. I played the reunion in my head over and over again—before it took place. In my imagination I would run towards Sadrac and jump into his arms. In reality I was too nervous. I timidly walked towards him—afraid that the moment was not real.

It was too good to be true.

It is still too good to be true.

Over the next week Sadrac spent ridiculous amounts of time soaking up the presence of my brothers, parents, and I. We celebrated Andy and Matt’s birthdays; spent time with Grandma; visited my friends; perused thrift stores; stopped in at the public library; went to the House of Prayer; rode on my parent’s tandem bike; counted squirrels; walked up to the store for donuts with Matt.

Oh, and we got engaged.  Yes, the love of my life asked my dad for my hand in marriage. And then he asked me.

Of course, I said “yes!”

During our week in PA together, we shared in the generosity of many. The experience of having Sadrac in my hometown and spending time with people there who I love dearly, was surreal. I still have trouble believing it all actually came to pass.

Now…

Everything has come together better than could be expected. Sadrac and I are constantly reminded of this as we prepare for our future together. The Visa, plane ticket, visit to my parent’s home, engagement, wedding plans, etc.

Just two weeks ago we finalized where we will be living when are married. This is exciting and another piece of our puzzle that we now have clarity on.

All of these things speak to a continuous testimony of our Father in Heaven’s graciousness and faithfulness. Sure, there were moments of uncertainty but through it all God has given us gifts more abundant than I could have even imagined. The sheer timing of how things unfolded is a testimony in-and-of-itself—perhaps that will be a future post. 

We are planning for a wedding celebration on December 23^rd in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, followed by a ceremony in Ephrata, PA on December 27^th. We would love to see you there at both or either!

Please send me an email at messingwithyourmind@gmail.com if you would like to be included in the details for these events!