We Are...Generation

We are a last-minute generation,

Never savoring, fulfilling temptation generation.

We are a non-committing, no retention line

Of young adults,

Who blow smoke screens because we don’t

Want to get roped into doing anything we

Don’t want to do.

We are a “find a way out of it,”

“Maybe, I’m not sure,”

Ignorers of RSVP ASAP,

You’re-lucky-if-we-give-you-an-answer generation.

We’re loaded up with narcissism and ego

Flowing out in sarcastic, self-inflated jokes,

But we bear the weight of poignant insecurities,

Poking us all over like acupuncture needles never

Dislodging.

We are ironic…the lives we live crossed

With what we believe and how we perceive it.

If this were a game of “match,” our realities would

Deceive us.

We are a lost generation, but not a

Forgotten generation.

We are a struggling generation, but not an

Irreconcilable one.

We are reachable, can be teachable,

And our eyes will be turned Heavenward,

When we break open our minds and let our hearts

Inside the skull to do a couples’ dance with brains well-trained.

For just as the created world we inhabit will be

Redeemed, we will be “liberated from…bondage

To decay and brought into the

Glorious freedom of the children of God” (Romans 8:21b).

For Jesus is the reconcilor and he is reconciling

All things to his dad.

And my bones long for restoration,

Rejuvenation and the hope of reconciliation.

I don’t want this inward throb to dissipate,

The cancelled-out reward of anticipation.

We are a thrill-seeking generation,

Fill my bucket list generation,

Jump-into-icy-water-just-to-feel-something

Generation.

Wake up, dear sleepers,

Harness the freedom

That will fill our pulses,

Ever urging us to eat up,

But never leaving us needy…

The irony of fulfillment that never fails to feed. 

Arise and Shine!

“Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear or be dismayed, for the LORD God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.” ~1 Chronicles 28:20

First night here! :) 

Just as the Lord called the Israelites to serve at the House of the Lord, so I am also understanding the call to just do it and not grow weary or dismayed as I finish out my first year at Quisqueya Christian School. J Tomorrow we will begin the second week of the 4^th quarter! It’s truly hard to comprehend that more than ¾ of the school year has passed.

The Barbancourt Rhum Room 

Exciting news from March includes the wonderful visit from my mom and Matt! I still cannot believe that they were actually here—walking the streets I walk, sitting in the classroom I teach in, hanging out in the room I live out of, and meeting friends I’ve made here. It was a blast! We got to travel to the beach and the countryside, so they got to experience some of the diversity of Haiti. We had a relaxing, sweet time together. It’s the first time my mom had been out of the country since she was 17! She said she’s already thinking about coming back next year. J

School-side: We’ve begun reading the memoir Night by Elie Wiesel in my 10^th grade class. Like never before have I been struck by the appalling horror of the Holocaust. As I research, a sickness grows in my stomach. This intense dehumanization of millions of people is unfathomable. To see these documented in pictures, videos, words, interviews, is a harsh experience. My hope is that my 10^th graders feel and understand the reality of what humans are capable of and the choices that we are constantly making that determine outcomes of many motives.

Kenscoff 

In 9^th grade we are working through a short unit on poetry. They’re expressing themselves through creative and written outlets. It’s fun! Next, we’re headed into the dystopian world of Fahrenheit 451. I’m looking forward to that!

My English Enrichment class continues to do a lot of independent reading which is interspersed with reading to 2^nd graders, reading outside, and trips to the library.

The middle school classes I help out in are working through speeches and profile pieces. They’re vivacious and unpredictable. J

Can you see the crab?

Life remains fresh and interesting as I continue to press on in my Kreyol learning. I just joined a Bible study group that a few of the cafeteria ladies do each week. I went for the first time 2 weeks ago—we prayed, read the Word, discussed the passages, and prayed some more in a mixture of Kreyol and English. I am looking forward to these meetings!

My moto adventures (riding on the back of public motorcycle transportation) are getting richer every day. I went out to eat with my high school discipleship group on Friday and tried to communicate with Monsieur Mark (my newly regular driver), how to get to Pizza Garden…I’d never been there before. After a bit of miscommunication because of my lack of Kreyol vocab, we figured it out! The time with my discipleship group was filled with laughs, sharing, food, and fun. J I’m honored to share life with these girls.

Night at the beach with Mom & Matt

God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Adversities come and go, but He is never changing. He is salvation bringer, peace wielder, and love bearer. All praise be to Jesus Christ for He is holy and is making me ever more into His likeness (little by little).

 

Resting in Beauty

“’My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’” ~2 Corinthians 12:9

I am sitting on my bed feeling achy and snot-filled. I was reminded of this 2 Corinthians verse earlier this morning. My mind often says, “Go, go, GO! Do it! You can do it! Keep going!” This weekend, my body’s natural responses are overpowering my mind’s ability to connive me into doing lots of stuff and accomplishing many things.

The beach w/Brit.

So, here I rest. This is what I read this morning in Jesus Calling: “Thank Me [God] for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells.

Brit & I visited Heartline (a pre and post-natal care center
for women), with Miquette & Max (pictured) &
Irene & baby Grace. 

“Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.”

So I say, thank you, Lord, for a cause to recall how inadequate my bones and flesh are to carry me through life in a solo dance. I was never meant to dance alone. A dance is meant for two, and here I am, stepping out to join You, “Lord of the dance.” I require support, rest, strength—I am not capable of working it up out of my own doing. Thank God!

A night out with Ruth & Jen
(fellow literary heads/co-workers/friends)

The past month has been filled with adventures. I am exploring my home more than last semester and discovering all kinds of new treasures. I bought my first couple of pieces of Haitian art; bartered (well, someone bartered for me) for a silk dress in an underground used clothing market; and drove to the beach with my good friend, Brit, who came to visit for an entire week. Woot woot!

School-Side:

My 9^th graders and I just began exploring colonization in Africa as we dove into Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe last week. He was a pioneer of African literature—desiring native people to write and express their cultures instead of having foreigners become the sole authors and representatives.

Cafe Rebo with Brit! 

My 10^th graders led a successful Socratic Seminar last week as they discussed the development of our book, Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank. They also turned in their final drafts of a biographical paper based on someone they know who’s experienced a crisis (on a personal or large-scale level).

The English Enrichment Class got to experience Brit’s spoken word poetry while she was here. She performed a spoken word that she’d written, and many of the students were blown away. The emotion and heart that comes with an art form like spoken word is powerful and moving. Several students commented later on how inspired they felt.

Dear friends: Linda & Brit. We adventured & hung out. :)

My table at the V-Day dinner. Fellow co-workers.

The middle schoolers also got to hear spoken word, and it was extremely timely for them because they are in the middle of a poetry unit right now. Tears came to my eyes as Brit let loose with her spoken word in front of the 7^th graders because it was a powerful and beautiful encounter.

The seniors at the school hosted a Valentine’s Day dinner for the teachers last night. It was a beautiful event and high enough up in the mountains that I was actually shivering. J

In other news…I have the visit of my mom and brother Matt to look forward to at the beginning of March! They’ll be here for an entire week!

I am thankful that I don’t need to self-sustain. Although I sometimes feel like I’m pretty strong and motivated, I am unable to do anything on my own. Lord, remind me of that day by day:

“Whom have I in Heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~Psalm 73:25-26

Bonus Photo: Brit & I out celebrating my birthday before she left. :)

Joy of 2014

How can I express the joy of Christmas 2013? It was a beautiful keepsake to be with ALL of my immediate family over the Christmas break. I am blessed beyond understanding by the gift and love of my family.

I was able to “ring in the new year” at Gateway House of Prayer through worship and fellowship. It was a treat to be back in the house of prayer! I even got to jump on the worship team for the Friday night watch I used to be a part of.

While I was back in PA, my family hung out, talked, watched movies. We spent nearly a week at the beach. I got to enjoy the wonderful homemade meals my mom makes (including but not limited to): egg rolls, pizza, Stromboli, and chili.

Here are a few holiday favorites with my family:

Me & Grandma...reliving animal crackers in boxes! :)

The Awesome Agabas! I love my family! 

My sis and I!

The "buds"

I’m back again in Haiti and the second half of the school year begins on Tuesday!! Go 2014! Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity to dive in again. May this be better than the last and a new season to run into with arms and heart wide open! 

Thanksgiving, Snapshots, & School:Tout Bagay Vini Ansom

It’s been nearly 4 months since I moved to Haiti! I need to get more regular at this blog update thing. J

This post has ended up being a combination of thankfulness, visits, and the school campus!

Thanksgiving has come and now it’s the day after the “holiday,” but I still have off school, and I’m still overwhelmed by all I have to be thankful for. Sometimes I just need to name the things so that I remain aware of the thankfulness that ought to dwell in my heart.

Today I spent most of the day in my classroom doing some grading, attempting to squish the rest of Pride & Prejudice into 2 weeks, and getting my ‘schtuff together! I started getting anxious about all I need to get done still before the end of the school year and before I leave for Christmas break. It was one of those moments when you realize certain things on your to-do list took terrifying longer than you’d foreseen, and now you’re left feeling like you got close to nothing done. Well, of course that wasn’t true; I had accomplished some things just not what I’d hoped.

I struggled to mentally recall the verse that talks about being anxious, so that I could recite it in my mind and from my mouth. All that came to mind though was, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). Hmmm…maybe more appropriate actually. Eventually the familiar Philippians 4:6-7 passage about not being “anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition…,” the one that I’d needed to memorize in college because of my many anxiety-bound fits, did come to mind.

I didn’t want to choose anxiety in that moment. Yuck! So, instead of looking at my to-do list and freaking out about what I hadn’t done, I grabbed a fresh sticky note and wrote down all the things I had accomplished so far! Thank you, Lord, for letting me be imperfect but calling me forth to move on into better things! I love how you always do that!

A phrase I learned from a dear friend of mine, who is the head cook in the cafeteria here at the school, last night at our community Thanksgiving celebration is: “Tout bagay vini ansom” (Everything comes together.) And so it always does!

Since I last put keys to page on this blog, my friend Beth Anne from Reading, PA has come and gone! She was so sweet to take her weeklong work vacation and fly to Haiti to visit Elisa and me! It was such a precious time, and she is officially my first visitor from home! J We went to college together and both graduated with Englishy minds—hers in journalism and mine in English education. She spoke to several classes while she was here—middle school and senior classes—talking about what she does as a journalist and answering lots of great questions.

To continue in a thankful rant, Beth Anne’s trip was actually made entirely successful on the morn of her final day here! I don’t always get up at the first ring of my alarm, but on that particular day I heard the unmistakable shuffling of the sticky trap that had found its prey. There was no way I was going to fall back asleep. Beth Anne barely opened her eyes as I shone my phone’s light on the mouse’s body so that she could see what she’d come for originally. You see, she writes for the Reading Eagle and was put in charge of writing an article on household rodents. Before she came, she mentioned how she’d hoped to have some stories to talk about after leaving here! God sure is funny like that, huh?

Yesterday I had one of the best Thanksgivings ever. I slept in; had a sweet time with the Lord; Skyped/Google Hungout (??)/telephoned  my good friend Brit (all because the previous options kept cutting out). I rode a moto (public motorcycle) with Elisa down to Epidor to get French fries; had several cups of tea; helped make green bean casserole; spoke to almost my entire family face-to-face via Skype; received a text message from my 93 year-old Grandma; dinned with the finest of folks (36+ teachers, staff, and other great people); had glass bottles of Coke; learned new Kreyol phrases; ate turkey; watched a movie; and had some good dress up fun with Jen to top it all off!

Wow.

Originally this post was going to be about the school because one of my uncles requested I put up pictures of the campus. I finally went around the school today to get some snapshots.

The view beside the high school building.

Stairs up to the high school building.

The high school/middle school building. I get to go up these stairs every day! :)

The parking lot where students' rides wait.

Just some of the beautiful flowers on campus.

Teacher's lounge! I tend to not do my best work in here; there are usually way too many things/people to get side-tracked by/with. 

(Above): Playground (Below): Elementary building

Beautiful entanglement! 

Soccer field. Teams come to play on this field most nights of the week.

Beautiful flowers!

The art building.

The chapel.

"Out back"

Breathtaking bark.

The cafeteria. We always eat outside; there is no indoor seating.
Yay for beautiful weather!

The path I take each and every school day. :)

"It was You who set all the boundaries of the earth." Psalm 74:17a
The net that catches balls from the soccer field from going out
onto the street.

A nice tree that I like to sit under during after school duty
and for our weekly prayer meetings every Thursday. 

For my dad because he loves plants like this!!

 And so these are some snapshots of the world I am in. If ever you have a plane ticket to be spent and a few days to spare, consider taking me up on my hospitality! 

Until we talk again.

~Ash aka. Ti Chou 

The Backpacks They Carry

(I wrote this a month ago at a moment when I was overwhelmed by the emotional weight that students walk around with each day.) 

Backpacks and locker keys,

Pelts from last night’s thrashing,

Young love and heartache,

Betrayal’s knife that leaves a mark, a friendship scarred,

And a relationship broken.

Unfinished essays and tattered textbooks,

Letters never sent, stored within,

Miscommunication left hanging, will it ever clear?

Missed expectations with no clue how to make it right,

Severed heartstrings with no idea how to retie them.

Jokes in back pocket and sarcasm saved up,

Reaction after reaction after reaction

Poured out after days, months, years of disapproval

Received in lashes, phrases, silence, distance.

The things they carry,

I feel them, too.

The things they hold onto,

I feel them, too.

The tension that drenches the air

Like a player’s sweat after suicide drills ordered by Coach.

The hopeless that sways the steady marcher to and fro

Without real clarity on how to regain what has been lost.

Years of memories who can erase,

Hours of tears that no one could face,

“How can you change it?” They may ask;

“How do you expect it to be any different?”

She screams.

I will hold the hand that trembles,

But I cannot hold the heart that aches,

Hope will be restored,

These are the days of restitution,

Pain will fall like scales from a dead dragon,

The war has been fought,

You were bought with a price,

These are the moments of reconciliation.

There has not been a ceasefire, but One has stood in the way,

The bullets of your shame, your tainted name,

Have been renewed, claimed, traded-in:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins

    and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

    that have been devastated for generations.

5 Strangers will shepherd your flocks;

    foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the Lord,

    you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations,

    and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of your shame

    you will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace

    you will rejoice in your inheritance.

And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,

    and everlasting joy will be yours.

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice;

    I hate robbery and wrongdoing.

In my faithfulness I will reward my people

    and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations

    and their offspring among the peoples.

All who see them will acknowledge

    that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

10 I delight greatly in the Lord;

    my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,

    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up

    and a garden causes seeds to grow,

so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness

    and praise spring up before all nations."

--Isaiah 61

You Make Beautiful Things

My longings grow.

What is there to say but that many of the treasures are felt and seen inside and held behind the eyes.

“You make beautiful things/You make beautiful things out of us…” –Gungor. Anthem, sing on as I reach towards the light. Lord, You make all things pure, true, and right. Thank You for the process that guides me into Your radiant life.

The beauty of old things being renewed can be captured in these homes that were painted in bright array by someone who didn't want to see them all dull and brown post-earthquake. So, he painted them! It makes for a beautiful ascension up the majestic mountain. 

There has been much going on. I feel full, exhausted, excited, nervous, overwhelmed, intimidated, joyous, free, faith-laden, anticipation, expectation, urgency. The past couple of weeks have been full of new journeys and inspirations.

I was given the opportunity to lead, with a group of students, worship for chapel once a month. This past week was my first time leading with them, and it was fun to see them taking part in this leadership role with me. I am looking forward to how the Lord will shape our team this semester!

I’ve officially been teaching at Quisqueya Christian School for over a month! So far, it has been an incredible growing experience. I never seem to know enough or be prepared enough (both of which seem to be impossible, and I have yet to be proven that it’s possible), and although the breakthroughs aren’t always present; I can tell you in this moment that I love it! It took me over 8 hours to grade papers for one class 2 weeks ago. I’m working on lowering that time commitment. It’ll take some time.

My 10^th grade class just finished reading Antigone. My 9^th grade class is working through Silas Marner, and my reading elective continues to grow in making silent reading a successful and productive habit.

The first memorable typo on a student's paper arrived in one of my English classes a few weeks ago...

Yesterday I had my very first parent-teacher conferences. We met from 7am-4:30pm. It was a long, exhausting day, but it was well worth the commitment! I had some great conversations with parents, and it was a pleasure to meet them and talk about how we can best support the young men and women that are in our care. I was blessed by the day! To top off a successful workday, I was asked to be my next door neighbor’s date to an event at the Canadian Embassy (yes, Heather is Canadian). J It was an…interesting…experience… Essentially, we felt like it was an event that people showed up at to be seen. There were plenty of “important” people there from the U.S. Embassy and from other places. It was an experience to tuck away in my pocket.

We went out for burgers at my favorite restaurant after the embassy party. Elisa & I got to add to the wall art. :)

My record of ending the lives of apartment-dwelling mice was upped to 2 last night, somewhere around midnight. It’s not my favorite past-time to drown mice in the toilet, but Elisa and I have decided that it’s a necessary habit in order to preserve our sanity and our food supply. L

Yesterday, a student and parent from QCS took Elisa and I to Apparent Project. It is a retail shop located 10 minutes away from the school that is run by a couple whose children go to QCS. Apparent Project is a nonprofit business that sells handmade crafts made by artisans in Haiti. The two main materials they produce are rolled newspaper crafts and clay crafts (jewelry, mugs, etc.). The business employs 200 heads-of households. They receive orders from wealthy individuals and businesses in the USA. It’s pretty incredible! Check out their website: http://www.apparentproject.org/

The Lord continues to do a work in me, and I know that He’s making beauty come from ashes on a consistent basis. More adventures to come!

Bonus Photos:

Just to show you that Listerine is $13!

Making dinner in the apartment next door.